SPRINGFIELD, MO – The long awaited Guns n’ Roses reunion tour featuring Appetite for Destruction-era bandmates Axl Rose, Slash, and Duff McKagan is set to kick off this summer in, of all places, Springfield’s own North Point Church.
Details as to how North Point struck a deal to secure the launch performance of arguably the hottest tour of the year were unclear, though numerous insiders privy to the negotiation process reported that it involved “insane sums of cash”, “relentless begging for cultural relevance” and “several eternal souls”.
“Ever since we covered the Rolling Stones’ Sympathy for the Devil as a part of our 2011 Easter worship service, we knew we’d found a great way of getting people into church,” said Joe Isuzu, lead pastor of North Point’s main campus. “We couldn’t be more excited to be hosting Guns n’ Roses, who, by the way, just happen to have done the greatest cover of Sympathy for the Devil ever!”
“Nobody does sympathy for the devil better than Gun’s n’ Roses…and North Point Church!”
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