DALLAS, TX – Dallas First Baptist Church, pastored by avid Donald Trump fan Robert Jeffress, announced today that it will be including a casino and strip club as a part of its massive downtown campus revision and expansion project.
“If we want to reach people, we have to reach them where they’re at,” said newly appointed Dallas First Baptist Manager Of Casino and Strip Club Operations, Brian Graves. “And where they’re at more and more these days is in casinos and strip clubs – casinos like the many owned by Donald Trump and strip clubs like Scores in Trump’s Taj Mahal.”
Pastor Jeffress, while unable to formally endorse Donald Trump for President in order to protect his church’s precious 501(c)(3) status, has regularly gushed about how The Donald is The Man to “Make America Great Again!” As such, many observers were not surprised to see him move his church in a more Trump-like direction.
But not all of the 10,000+ members of Dallas First Baptist were pleased with the announcement.
“I’m just not sure this is the best idea,” said long time church member Martha Langley. “It seems like at some point we might want to draw a line and take some sort of stand that distinguishes us from the world. Not putting a strip club on campus seems like a good place to start.”
You can also get a detailed look into what we’re doing and why we’re doing it by reading Mocking The Prophets Of Baal: The Beauty And Power Of Christian Satire (And Why So Many People Hate It) over at FireBreathingChristian.com.