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John Hagee Announces Manned Mission To Blood Moon

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SAN ANTONIO, TX – Pastor John Hagee of Cornerstone Church and CEO of multiple globe-spanning operations responsible for the perversion and exploitation of countless Bible passages and concepts for personal and financial gain, has announced plans to fund a manned mission to the blood moon.

“I’m very excited about this important and prophetically significant mission to the blood moon,” proclaimed Hagee via phone during an interview on TBN as he wallowed in an oversized tub filled with large denomination bills taken in from his last wave of blood moon hype and exploitation. “If ever there was a sure sign that the end is near, this has to be it.”

The mission is slated for 2033 to coincide with the next anticipated “blood moon” phenomena – a “supermoon” combined with a total lunar eclipse.

Hagee’s now legendary promotion and profiteering from the last series of blood moon events puts him in prime position to once again inspire and fleece gullible masses who are incapable of spotting a huckster even when his deceit is literally proclaimed from the heavens.


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