VALPARAISO, IN – A popular and eerily accurate carnival weight guesser has challenged CBN’s Pat Robertson to a “word of knowledge” smackdown.
Navin Johnson, long time and highly regarded member of Happy Clown Productions’ traveling carnival, issued the challenge after accidentally stumbling across an episode of CBN’s The 700 Club in which host Pat Robertson did his typical shtick of claiming to receive specific “words of knowledge” from God as to the vaguely defined health issues, financial troubles or even more generically described struggles of various people “out there” in the listening audience.
“So I was just sitting there trying to chill after a long night of weight guessing, making my way through an unsold funnel cake and channel surfing when I came across this absolute nut on the Christian Broadcasting Network,” reported Johnson the day after his unexpected encounter with American televangelism. “And from there it quickly got to a point where I just couldn’t take any more.”
“I couldn’t believe that anyone would take this guy seriously,” explained a clearly flabbergasted Johnson while adjusting the oversized plastic water-squirting flower on his lapel in preparation for his next shift at the Porter County Fair. “I heard one too many laughably vague ‘words of knowledge’ and just had to do something.”
“When I guess someone’s weight, I am very precise. I am very accurate. I am a professional. You won’t hear any vague generalities coming from me, unlike certain guys named Pat Robertson on certain shows called The 700 Club on certain networks known as CBN.”
Las Vegas and Atlantic City odds-makers have Johnson listed as an early 27-1 favorite in the proposed smackdown.
You can also get a detailed look into what we’re doing and why we’re doing it by reading Mocking The Prophets Of Baal: The Beauty And Power Of Christian Satire (And Why So Many People Hate It) over at FireBreathingChristian.com.