ATLANTIC CITY, NJ – In a magnanimous move to thank “the evangelicals” for their “absolutely amazing” support of his run for the presidency, Republican juggernaut multi-billionaire and multiple casino promoting “man of the people” Donald J. Trump has announced that his namesake casinos and any strip clubs operating therein will from this point forward offer a special 25% Evangelical Discount.
“The evangelicals have been absolutely amazing to me,” gushed a confident Trump at a victory rally celebrating his sweep of five states on Tuesday night. “I think we all know that I wouldn’t be winning without the support of the evangelicals, so a special 25% off at places like the Trump Taj Mahal and its Scores strip club seems like the least I can do to show my gratitude and give them a taste of how I got to be the winner that I am today.”
“So thank you, evangelicals.”
“Together we will make America great again!”
You can also get a detailed look into what we’re doing and why we’re doing it by reading Mocking The Prophets Of Baal: The Beauty And Power Of Christian Satire (And Why So Many People Hate It) over at FireBreathingChristian.com.