TULSA, OK – In a curious strategy seemingly designed to secure the very result they claim to vigorously oppose, millions of outraged Christian parents are mobilizing against Target Stores, Inc.’s open promotion of the LGBTQ movement while freely shipping their young children off for daily mind-sculpting and worldview training in a system openly committed to promoting the LGBTQ movement.
“We can’t just sit idly by and support businesses that are promoting the abandonment of God-given gender distinctions and assaulting the God-ordained institutions of marriage and family,” bellowed Margaret Englewood, a clearly agitated 32-year-old mother of three, from a megaphone as she led roughly 100 self-described “outraged Christian parents” in picketing a West Tulsa Target store on Wednesday.
“We have to take a stand! We have to stop buying public school supplies for our little children at stores like Target! When our little boys and girls spend their seven or eight hours a day immersed in the LGTBQ-supportive teaching openly advocated by our beloved State-run public schools operating under the Department of Education, we have to be sure that they are not taking notes using pencils or notepads purchased at Target!”
“That’ll teach ’em!”
Target Stores, Inc. seemed unconcerned with the protests and confident in its long-term strategy.
“Sure, we might lose a few backpack and glue stick sales in the short run,” noted a Target representative in a brief press release. “But at the end of the day, with even most of these supposedly ‘outraged’ protesting parents choosing to freely ship their kids off for daily training in the LGBTQ-promoting worldview of State-run schools, we’re confident that things will work out just fine.”
“You don’t have to be a rocket scientist – or even a Target store clerk – to see that the way these folks are allowing their children to be educated is setting us up quite nicely in the long run.”
While picket lines typically roll through business hours, most of the nationwide protests targeting Target dispersed by around 2:30 in the afternoon so that protesting parents could pick up their kids at nearby public schools.
You can also get a detailed look into what we’re doing and why we’re doing it by reading Mocking The Prophets Of Baal: The Beauty And Power Of Christian Satire (And Why So Many People Hate It) over at FireBreathingChristian.com.