WASHINGTON DC – In a bizarre, surreal and self-contradicting campaign season twist, presumptive Democrat Party presidential nominee Hillary Clinton has decided to formally, officially, and quite literally play “The Woman Card” – a faux ID card being issued as a campaign prop to Hillary supporters who self-identify as women, even if they are in fact men.
“I’ve never been more proud to be a woman,” gushed Official Hillary Woman Card spokesman Bruce Jenner in a deep, manly voice while holding a sample card high in his large, hairy hand before screaming throngs of crossdressing who-knows-whats at a DC-area Hillary for America rally. “Now women like me can show their support for womanhood and Hillary all at the same time.”
“The time has come for women and men pretending to be women to unite!” bellowed Hillary in Big Brother fashion via recorded message prepared for the TransJenner rally. “Now whenever anyone questions your womanhood, just hold this card high with pride, no matter how not-a-woman you may actually be based on all objective medical and scientific standards.”
“The Hillary Clinton Woman Card trumps them all!”
“Together we can make America and the world a better place for women of all kinds, men included!”
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