JACKSONVILLE, FL – Tim Tebow’s recent clarification of Philippians 4:13, probably the most frequently and comically abused out-of-context Bible verse in the wide world of sports, has confounded, disappointed, and outraged legions of sports fans who believe that the passage can and should at every opportunity be used like a fortune cookie snippet or lucky rabbit’s foot to validate their dreams of victory over any opponent or obstacle in any area of life or on any football field on any given Sunday.
“The verse is actually about contentedness in all circumstances,” clarified Tebow. “It’s not about being able to throw a better pass or make a better play on the football field. It’s about being content with the victory secured through Christ whether you can even lift a football, much less throw one fifty or sixty yards like me.”
Millions of American sports fans who’ve long cherished the opportunity to abuse the verse in question, which reads, “I can do all things through him who strengthens me,” were stunned to discover that there are actually verses immediately preceding and immediately following their favorite memorized snippet of Scripture.
“I’m not sure what this ‘context’ thing is all about,” posted an agitated American sports lover in a Facebook thread dedicated to railing against Tebow’s biblically coherent interpretation of Philippians 4:13. “But I’m not about to let anybody tell me that I have to understand my favorite Bible verse in any particular way. It says what it says, and what it says has absolutely nothing to do with what the verse before it says or the verse after it says!”
“I can do all things – including interpret Scripture any way I want – through him who strengthens me!”
You can also get a detailed look into what we’re doing and why we’re doing it by reading Mocking The Prophets Of Baal: The Beauty And Power Of Christian Satire (And Why So Many People Hate It) over at FireBreathingChristian.com.