CHICAGO, IL – Having long acknowledged and grown comfortable with his utter lack of desire to be a productive adult in any meaningful way, 32-year-old basement-dwelling gamer and lifelong leech on society Greg Palmer “couldn’t care less” about new workplace technologies further exposing him as the useless man that he and pretty much everyone else in the Chicago area already know him to be.
“Yeah, when my favorite McDonald’s installed automated order-takers and stuff like that, I realized that my chance of getting a job there probably just went to zero,” acknowledged Palmer while sunk deep into a sofa in his grandmother’s basement, where he’s lived for the last decade while leveling up World of Warcraft characters and building various X-Box Live online rankings. “But I was never planning on getting a job there anyway.”
“Or anywhere else, to be honest.”
“I’m just glad they finally got some decent order-takers at the place, since I usually swing by to get something to go after my daily run to Gamestop.”
“And by ‘run’, I actually mean easygoing drive in my grandma’s air-conditioned ’83 Buick, of course.”
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