ELKHART, IN – In a clear sign that he’s suffering from extreme Twitter Envy regarding what presidential aides describe as “Trump’s mad Twitter skills”, President Barack Obama shrunk into a frustrated puddle of stuttering stupidity during a speech in Indiana aimed at taking on presumptive Republican nominee Donald Trump.
By the end of the attempted speech, it was clear that Trump’s Twitter prowess had cracked the current President’s trademark calm, cool, and collected demeanor wide open, reducing him to an incompetent, gibbering, illiterate mess, basically confirming everything that Trump has been Tweeting about him for the past several months.
“. . . If we turn against each other based on division of race or religion. If-if-if-if-if-if-if-if-if-if-if we fall for, you know, a bunch of okie-doke, just because, you know it-it-it. You know, it-it-it-it-it-it sounds funny or the tweets are provocative,” the President rambled before aides could pry him away from the podium. “I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I ju-ju-just don’t believe that America wi-wi-wi-will fall for this s-s-s-s-s-stuff!”
To which a watching Trump immediately Tweeted: “This guy couldn’t fit the word ‘if’ in Twitter’s 140 character limit. Absolutely amazing! What incompetence! We deserve better!”
As an obsessed subscriber to Trump’s Twitter feed, President Obama was instantly notified of the Tweet. Finding it impossible to resist the urge to immediately know what Trump was saying, Obama paused his speech for a moment and read Trump’s Tweet on his iWatch just before becoming totally unglued and going on an unintelligible, indecipherable tirade about “that man” and “his stupid Twitter feed”.
You can also get a detailed look into what we’re doing and why we’re doing it by reading Mocking The Prophets Of Baal: The Beauty And Power Of Christian Satire (And Why So Many People Hate It) over at FireBreathingChristian.com.