NEW YORK, NEW YORK – Despite “strongly and passionately” self-identifying as “an extremely intelligent and extremely enlightened woman” again and again to anyone willing to listen, former MSNBC host Melissa Harris-Perry’s recent application for membership in Mensa, the largest and oldest high IQ society in the world, was “emphatically rejected” by the organization.
Harris-Perry has since announced plans to sue the organization on grounds of discrimination and causing extreme psychological distress to an already clearly disturbed person.
According to sources close to the tampon-earring-wearing Progressive icon who has become well known the world over for her fierce dedication to some of the most idiotic concepts known to man, Harris-Perry was “shocked” when Mensa so quickly and so emphatically rejected her application for membership.
“They literally used the word ’emphatically’ every time they used the word ‘rejected’, like, at least four times,” confided a close friend of Harris-Perry on condition of anonymity. “And the turnaround on the application was freakishly fast. It was as though they had this particular rejection – or ’emphatic rejection’ – letter on hand and ready to go in anticipation that Melissa might one day apply for membership.”
“These people are pretty smart.”
Attorneys for Mensa dismissed the lawsuit as “utterly without merit”, “less a legal document than a cry for help”, and “pretty much what you’d expect from an MSNBC employee”.
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