LONDON, ENGLAND – Yesterday’s dramatic vote by the people of Britain to abandon the European Union (EU) has left millions of globalists, elitists and dispensationalist Christians “shocked, disappointed, and very, very angry”.
While the stunning move by Britain to simply leave the EU has sent surges of joy and relief through the now freed-from-Brussels nation, scores of advocates for dispensational, Rapture-based end times perspectives are said to be besides themselves in disbelief, with many having already plunged into full blown depression.
“I just don’t get it,” admitted loyal KJV-only, Left Behind-loving Mary Huddleston, 78, of Ann Arbor in a post to the RAPTURE READY! Facebook group page. “I thought the EU was going to bring in the Anti-Christ, invade Israel, and usher in an apocalyptic hell on earth the likes of which has never been known in all of human history. How could it just fizzle out this way?”
“I AM SO DISAPPOINTED!”
Yet for every depressed dispensationalist left combing through the wreckage of their crumbled end times perspective, there seems to be at least a dozen jubilant Britons who are thrilled to have freed themselves from the controlling tentacles of the Brussels-based political monstrosity that is the European Union.
“We’re free!”, shouted an overjoyed Jillian Hopewell, 29, while jumping up and down at a Brexit celebration party in London. “And this could be just the beginning!”
“If we can do this, then you can bet that others will want to do it, too! There’s already talk of others voting to abandon and ultimately kill the EU!”
“The European Union is dying before our eyes!”
But news of the EU’s sudden unravelling has some concerned for the health and well being of those enmeshed in end times perspectives that have for generations painted the EU as the dark superpower by which terror and destruction would be unleashed on a global scale at the end of the age.
“I’m really concerned,” admitted Dr. James Filmore, John Hagee’s personal physician, in an interview with CBN this morning. “The Britain vote was a real shock, to be sure, but John managed to pull through and is in stable condition. But if another country jets on the EU anytime soon, I just don’t know if he’ll make it.”
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad that the EU seems to be dying.”
“I’m just afraid it might take out millions of dispensationalists on its way down.”
You can also get a detailed look into what we’re doing and why we’re doing it by reading Mocking The Prophets Of Baal: The Beauty And Power Of Christian Satire (And Why So Many People Hate It) over at FireBreathingChristian.com.