MOSCOW, RUSSIA – Russian President Vladimir Putin today gleefully confirmed reports that his government is indeed planning to auction off roughly 30,000 emails that Hillary Clinton had attempted to permanently remove from recorded history.
Russia’s announcement prompted the Democrat National Committee (DNC) to immediately establish a new eBay account and solicit donations to help the Party fund what is expected to be an extremely competitive bidding war. DNC solicitation emails were dispatched within three minutes of Putin’s announcement, imploring supporters to send “whatever money they can possibly lay their hands on” so that “we can prevent the evil Russians from injecting truth and transparency into the American political process”.
In stark contrast, the Trump campaign praised the Russian move and made it plain that “Mr. Trump has his eBay app prepped and his credit card handy”.
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