HOUSTON, TX – Texas Senator and conservative Christian political icon Ted Cruz, after formally endorsing Donald Trump for President just weeks ago, now insists that he was “just kidding”, according to numerous highly placed Cruz confidants.
With the recent release of boatloads of explicit and redundantly detailed audio and video recordings proving Donald Trump to be every bit the vile, repulsive, vice-peddling, woman-hating pig that pretty much everyone with a positive IQ already assumed him to be, the recent Trump convert is now said to be exploring ways to “help people understand that his endorsement of Trump was really just a hysterical bit of comedic hijinks.”
“Oh yeah, of course the whole ‘endorsement of Donald Trump’ thing was all just a good old fashioned knee slapper,” explained one Cruz consultant on condition of anonymity while laughing nervously before passing out in a fit of embarrassment-fueled anxiety. “Ted’s just hysterical that way.”
“He’s such a kidder!” the consultant added just before falling to the floor in a puddle of his own sweat and beginning to sob uncontrollably.
You can also get a detailed look into what we’re doing and why we’re doing it by reading Mocking The Prophets Of Baal: The Beauty And Power Of Christian Satire (And Why So Many People Hate It) over at FireBreathingChristian.com.