HOLLYWOOD, CA – Jerry Springer has been confirmed as a last-minute replacement host for the third and final scheduled debate between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton.
The debate, scheduled to take place tomorrow evening and originally to be hosted by Fox News’ Chris Wallace, was ultimately deemed “too yuge” to be left in the hands of traditional journalists, according to one highly placed debate participant who wished to remain anonymous so that he would not become the target of “yet another corporate media hit job”.
Leaked details from negotiations between Fox and Springer confirm that debate participants will be seated in “folding metal chairs” that can “easily be used as weapons, should the need arise”, with Hillary Clinton’s chair to be equipped with at least three EpiPens “in case of emergency”.
The debate will air live tomorrow at 9 p.m. EST and will be re-aired repeatedly thereafter on World Wrestling Entertainment’s WWE Network, with additional commentary and analysis to be provided by The Undertaker.
You can also get a detailed look into what we’re doing and why we’re doing it by reading Mocking The Prophets Of Baal: The Beauty And Power Of Christian Satire (And Why So Many People Hate It) over at FireBreathingChristian.com.