MOBILE, ALABAMA – Conservatives across the country are rallying behind President Trump’s recent tweetstorm of commands, in which he dictated terms of proper conduct to private businesses and set forth mandatory expressions of patriotism for all true Americans.
“I’m thrilled to see Trump take this stand,” explained local barfly and devout MAGA advocate Bubba Jones at a downtown rally in favor of the President’s hard line take on mandatory expressions of patriotism. “If we want to keep the liberties and freedoms that we love as Americans, we need a strong leader to tell us what to do and what not to do in order to be real Americans.”
“That’s what makes us great,” Bubba continued between swigs of BPR. “I mean, if we don’t have a President who’s willing to stand up and tell private business owners how to operate and private citizens how to behave in order to qualify as legitimately patriotic, then how are we ever gonna make America great again?”
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