ATLANTA, GEORGIA – The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) is confirming that a “massive outbreak” of what it calls Crybully-Snowflake Disease has indeed occurred among the nation’s self-identified conservative population.
“We’re seeing millions of Right-leaning Americans suddenly eager to shout down dissent and punish anyone who would even begin to challenge their preferred narrative on things like the Socialist-written Pledge of Allegiance and the U.S. flag,” explained John Q. Reason, head of the CDC’s Hypocrisy-fueled Diseases of the Mind division. “Even mentioning that The Pledge was, in fact, written by a Socialist to promote Socialism in America is enough to have waves of frothing at the mouth ‘conservative’ crybullies launch into a fit of snowflakey rage aimed at shutting you up at all costs.”
“All for the love of freedom and liberty, of course.”
You can also get a detailed look into what we’re doing and why we’re doing it by reading Mocking The Prophets Of Baal: The Beauty And Power Of Christian Satire (And Why So Many People Hate It) over at FireBreathingChristian.com.