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Billions Report Being Sexually Assaulted By Hollywood

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HOLLYWOOD, CA – Billions of men, women, and children across the globe are reporting that they too have been sexually assaulted by Hollywood over the course of decades in which giant entertainment corporations have barraged them with relentless waves of increasingly degenerate sex, filth, and perversion.

“It’s time to finally acknowledge that decades of normalizing things like Sex and the City, 50 Shades of Grey, and anything with RuRaul, Bruce Jenner, or Angela Merkel pretending to be a woman actually takes a toll on a culture,” explained one of the 1.4 billion people who signed and commented on a petition being circulated online for global citizens to claim their official #MeToo status in the wake of the Harvey Weinstein scandal. “We can’t really be shocked at the degeneracy of someone like Harvey Weinstein or Bill Clinton when we embrace things like 50 Shades of Grey and any superhero flick with Ben Affleck in it as legitimate entertainment, can we?”


 

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