WASHINGTON, DC – In an effort to clarify what it means by “gun control”, the United States has signed on to a report co-authored by government leaders in Russia, China, North Korea, Iran, and every other U.N. recognized nation-state on the planet.
The report explains that “by ‘gun control’, we’re not advocating the removal of dangerous weapons from society. Not at all. What we’re pushing for is the complete consolidation of dangerous weapons in the hands of government so that only the State has the power to use gun violence to advance its agenda with literal impunity from an utterly disarmed population. We hope that this clarification is helpful.”
The report, co-authored by military, police, and political leaders from across the political spectrum in 38 different countries, goes into great detail explaining how “removing guns from the hands of the governed has always been the dream of big governments and State-licensed experts everywhere, so it must be a good idea. We can’t let little hiccups like Soviet Russia, Nazi Germany, Communist China, Communist Venezuela, Communist Cuba, or Cambodia lead people to believe that consolidation of weapons in the hands of government is anything but a beautiful and necessary good.”
You can also get a detailed look into what we’re doing and why we’re doing it by reading Mocking The Prophets Of Baal: The Beauty And Power Of Christian Satire (And Why So Many People Hate It) over at FireBreathingChristian.com.