REDWOOD CITY, CA – As D-Day looms for release of the fifth installment in the once highly regarded Battlefield game franchise, producer Electronic Arts (EA) is banking on massive support from what it insists is “the totally underrated, under-represented, and under-served” disabled SJW feminist/lesbian gamer market. Many analysts and market observers are less optimistic about the prospects of Battlefield V since the franchise’s hard-earned reputation as a realistic simulation of historic wars seems to clash with the latest installment’s focus on the front line deployment of disabled women as a major factor in World War 2.
“We’re all for seeing women included as a player option in the game. That part’s a very good thing,” explained one analyst from CNBC on condition of anonymity in order to avoid being disemployed, deplatformed and possibly disemboweled by SJW ideologues determined to crush anyone challenging their narrative. “The problem is featuring women as a normal and significant part of front line combat in World War 2, which they just weren’t. Taking a game brand built on realism and gratuitously feeding it into the SJW attempt to rewrite history just seems like a really bad idea.”
EA executives have responded to many similar concerns by doubling down on what they call their “daring, inclusive new take on history”, going so far as to tell concerned members of the franchise’s existing fanbase that they can either buy the game as is or take a hike. EA’s recent announcement of a “Feminists of Antifa Special Edition” of Battlefield V has been perceived by many as proof positive that Battlefield is about to go down in SJW flames.
“They can either get with the Brave New Program, or just not buy the game,” explained Elvira Molotov, EA’s Chief Communication Commissar Person and Professor of Lesbian Gaming Theory at UC Berkeley. “World War 2 has always been, at its heart, a battle between the evil fatherland of a very Trump-like Nazi Germany and the glorious motherland of the progressive Soviet Union. It’s a classic tale of patriarchy versus matriarchy. This oft neglected centerpiece of World War 2 history is something that we’re convinced a generation of malleable, historically illiterate gamers will truly enjoy.”
Preorders for Battlefield V are said to be trailing those of the next installment of direct competitor Call of Duty by 75-85%. Even so, EA seems undeterred by what it called “insignificant things like sales and profitability”.
“All that matters is our commitment to the cause of diversity, progress and social justice for all” Molotov added. “We are completely sold out – figuratively, if not in actual pre-order sales numbers – to embracing the true meaning and significance of World War 2, no matter how many ignorant, unenlightened redneck fascists decide not to buy our product.”
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