First Transgender Baptist Preacher Credits “Giant Truckload Of Acid” With Helping Him To See The Light

WASHINGTON DC – Daniel Robinson, the world’s first known Baptist “transgender” preacher, who now goes by the name Allyson, recently explained how he came to see the light on transgenderism by way of what he described as “a giant truckload of acid”.

“Yeah, so I was, like, really struggling with the idea that a doctor had the nerve to label me a male at birth based on the uniform testimony of all scientific standards of measuring such things without even asking me how I felt about it,” whined the crossdressing man being hailed as America’s Most Fabulous Preacher by various Christianity-hating media outlets. “And then I heard, like, this voice – the voice of an angel – an angel named ‘Reason’. And Reason spoke to me, telling me that I didn’t need to believe what the Bible seemed to say so clearly about things like men pretending to be women and stuff like that.”

“Oh yeah, and I was doing a lot of acid just before the angel Reason started talking to me,” added Mr. Robinson. “And the more acid I took, the more clear Reason’s voice became. It was pretty awesome.”

“So here I am now, just an honest woman preaching and spreading the gospel thanks to an angel named Reason and the truckload of acid that brought us together.”