Bill Nye Transitions From “Science Guy” To “Science-Hating LGBTQ Zealot”
End Times Staff
5/8/2017


WASHINGTON, DC – In an effort to conform with the fact- and science-averse feelings of a pop-culture gone mad to the point that it can’t even coherently define basic concepts like “boy” and “girl” anymore, famed pretend scientist Bill Nye, formerly known as “the science guy”, has transitioned into “Bill Nye, the androgynous LGBTQ zealot guy“.
After years of scientific fact reassignment and redefinition therapy, Nye has come out fully in support of a variety of utterly anti-science positions designed to make the LGBTQ community feel better about its insanity and destructiveness. Where once Nye dared to teach children about such politically incorrect facts as chromosomes determining gender, he now aims to rewrite his own history of teaching about chromosomes and other iconvenient scientific facts related to gender. His new television promoter, Netflix, went so far as to edit an old episode of his in order to ditch any science that conflicts with the current emotion- and feeling-driven vibe promoted by Bill Nye the Androgynous LGBTQ Zealot Guy.
“We’re just giddy to have this opportunity work with Mz. Nye,” explained Netflix Director of Really Gay Propaganda, Dr. Jan Chaos. “Especially considering the way he’s able to bond with little children of all genders, including the literally countless variant genders that we haven’t even identified yet.”
“Isn’t new science awesome!”
A P O C A L Y P T I C S A T I R E


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