Local Church Replaces King Jesus with Boyfriend Jesus

SALEM, AR – A local church is boldly proclaiming its emotion-driven affection for Boyfriend Jesus, whom it prefers “with all of its heart” over any and all others, including the King Jesus actually at the center of true biblical Christianity.

“It’s the ultimate love story, this thing between us and Jesus,” explained Third Baptist Pastor Cecil Snivelton. “He just loves us as we are and leaves us where we are, which fits in real good, since we just love us the way we are and want to be left alone to enjoy our lives right where we are.”

“So everybody wins. Everybody’s happy. Everybody’s comfortable.”

“Isn’t Jesus awesome!”