Nicolas Cage Admits “It Was Like My Career Got Raptured” In ‘Left Behind’
End Times Staff
6/8/2016


HOLLYWOOD, CA – Nicolas Cage, Oscar-winning Hollywood A-lister and star of such hits as Raising Arizona, Leaving Las Vegas, and the National Treasure films, has recently acknowledged that some of his recent project choices “haven’t been the best”, singling out 2014’s Left Behind as “pretty much the dumbest thing I’ve ever done in my life”.
“It’s as though my career got raptured away in an instant,” Cage recently admitted in a roundtable discussion of the October, 2014 release of the film based on a series of bestselling books presenting the dispensationalist, pre-tribulation rapture and end times perspectives of authors Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins. “One minute, I was Nicolas Cage: adored, A-list movie star. Then, in the blink of an eye, all of that was snatched away.”
“This was not the rapture I was looking for, lemme tellya.”
Movie and theology critics alike have found fertile ground for ridicule in the now legendarily awful Left Behind reboot, which was meant to revive the film franchise initially launched with Kirk Cameron playing the lead back in 2000.
“What made any Christian involved in this project think that it was a good thing in any way?” asked a featured critic at the Rotten Tomatoes website. “Doesn’t God want us to offer up our best, or at least not our absolute worst, in all that we do? I thought I read that in a Bible somewhere.”
On the plus side, the attempted reboot of the Left Behind film franchise was such an apocalyptic flop that there’s little threat of a sequel entering production anytime soon.
As for Cage, he’s thankful for the lessons he’s learned the hard way through involvement in Left Behind.
“I’ve learned a lot and I’m just glad to have the opportunity to rebuild my life on the other side of a truly awful and potentially career killing mistake on my part,” added Cage. “There’s no justification or excuse for what we did in making that film. None whatsoever.”
“The terrible story, the awful production value, the wooden acting and the ear-bleed-inducing dialogue can’t be rationalized or spun as ‘okay’ just because somebody desperately wants to scare people into church buildings or, as in my case, just because you’ll do pretty much anything for an eight figure paycheck.”
“Those are the attitudes that have to be left behind if we really, truly want to avoid another Left Behind-style apocalypse.”
A P O C A L Y P T I C S A T I R E


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