Castro Flees Cuba for Hell

SANTIAGO DE CUBA PROVINCE – In a desperate, last-ditch attempt to finally escape the “workers’ paradise” that he created in Cuba, Fidel Castro has fled to Hell.

“Hey, there’s no denying that Hell is a real step up from here,” admitted one of Castro’s trusted aides on condition of anonymity. “At least maybe now he can get some decent toilet paper.”

“Or any toilet paper at all.”