Samsung Rebrands Phones As Grenades; Announces Massive Military Contract

SAN JOSE, CA – Samsung announced the culmination of what it calls the “ultimate lemons to lemonade scenario” through the complete rebranding of its infamously explosive cell phone line into a new range of cutting-edge handheld smart bombs.

The transition was announced alongside the unveiling of a new 3.5 billion dollar contract that the company recently signed with the US military. The multi-billion dollar deal calls for Samsung to provide “the highest quality Android OS-based handgrenades in the world”.

A new Galaxy Grenade 5 model was also announced and is expected to replace current Galaxy and Galaxy Note versions of the handheld explosives. The Galaxy Grenade 5 is scheduled to go into production later this month after bypassing most, if not all, alpha and beta testing.

“At this point, what’s to test?” explained one highly placed Samsung executive. “We already know that the devices in question routinely explode with catastrophic results.”

“The army is gonna love these things.”