Half of Hollywood Claims to Have Been Raped by Other Half of Hollywood

HOLLYWOOD, CA – A full 50% of Hollywood actors, writers, and technical staff are now claiming to have been raped or sexually abused by the other 50% of Hollywood personalities, according to a report released in the wake of Charlie Sheen being publicly accused of raping a thirteen year old boy actor in the ’80s.

“The Sheen accusation has brought things to a dead-on 50/50 situation, with exactly half of Hollywood now claiming to have been raped or sexually abused by the other half,” explained one contributor to the report who spoke with The End Times on condition of anonymity as to avoid being assaulted in any way by the roving gang of rapists that have been dominating Hollywood for decades. “At this rate, most known Hollywood personalities will be credibly accused of sexual assault by Thanksgiving.”

“So let’s just say that things aren’t looking good in the land of moralizing Leftists.”