Paula White Confirms That She “Totally Led Trump to Jesus”

End Times Staff

7/8/2016

NEW YORK, NY – Paula White, Senior Pastorette at Destiny Christian Center near Orlando and spiritual confidant of presumptive Republican nominee Donald Trump, is emphatically confirming reports that she is the oft-vaguely-cited “evangelical leader” responsible for leading Trump to Jesus.

“I totally led Donald to Jesus,” confirmed White between takes for an infomercial she’s shooting for her new line of make-up for pretend pastors. “Totally. I totally did that.”

“Just like Dr. James Dobson said I did.”

“Totally.”