Woman Talking from Behind Pulpit Imagines Herself to Be Pastor

FENTON, MO – Joyce Meyer, best-selling author and wildly popular head of Joyce Meyer Ministries, after decades of addressing large crowds of fans from behind a pulpit, has become comfortable imagining herself to be an actual pastor.

“It was the weirdest thing,” noted Wanda Hickman of Little Rock, Arkansas, who accidentally attended a Meyer-led service while visiting Meyer-obsessed family members in St. Louis. “She just got up there and started talking as though she was an actual pastor or something.”

“And it only got worse from there,” added James Hickman, Wanda’s husband, who was also unsuspectingly lured to Meyer’s presentation by prosperity gospel adoring family members. “She went on and on about how Jesus stopped being the Son of God at some point, how she isn’t a sinner, and how we can all have health and wealth if we just believe hard enough or whatever.”

“Well, I’ve got a little newsflash for Joyce Meyer,” added Mr. Hickman. “You are a sinner. And you’re not a pastor.”

“No matter how hard you pretend otherwise.”