Habitual Adulterer Bill Clinton Regales Democrat Convention with Tales of His Love for Hillary

PHILADELPHIA, PA – Habitual adulterer and credibly accused rapist Bill Clinton regaled loyal, spellbound Democrats with tales of his love for “that girl”, Hillary – not to be confused with “that woman”, Monica Lewinsky – during a long, winding speech at the Democrat National Convention on Tuesday night.

Politically faithful Progressives in attendance wept and cheered the former President’s presentation, happy to ignore his legendary track record of persistent adultery, his self-serving abuse of women over the course of his entire adult life, and his utter disregard for the both sanctity of his marriage vows and the integrity of the one to whom he made those vows: His wife, Hillary.

“We’re just here to celebrate a beautiful love story,” one weepy Democrat delegate squealed when asked to comment after Bill’s Love Story speech. “And I don’t mean the love between a man and a woman in any traditional, honorable sense built upon fidelity, selflessness, loyalty, and truth.”

“I mean a love of power.”

“Pure political power.”

“That’s what we’re here to celebrate and pursue together!”