Trump Brandishes Red Lightsaber In Surprise Fight With Tucker, Candace, Alex, and Megyn

WASHINGTON DC - In a desperate attempt to combat the rapidly growing MAGA Rebellion, President Trump attempted a decapitation strike on Rebellion leaders by literally attempting to decapitate them with a red lightsaber.

The lightsaber, hidden for years in a black bathrobe given to Trump after meeting Melania on The Lolita Express, came as a shock to particularly naive Trump loyalists, but was not much of a surprise to anyone else.

"We all knew he had one," Tucker explained in a post-duel interview. "Any doubt was removed when he attacked Iran for the first time last year. It was just a matter of time before he would try to use it on us, so we were ready."

The big reveal came when Tucker, Candace, Alex, and Megyn emerged as leaders of the Rebellion and Trump felt cornered, finally lashing out when the four loyal Americans confronted him after the second attack on Iran.

Thankfully, no one other than Trump was harmed in the encounter.

As the Rebellion continued to grow in the aftermath of the fight, speculation mounted as to where Trump got the red lightsaber. Did he make it himself as a master of evil? Or was it a gift given to him by a true master lurking in shadows?

When asked, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu refused comment.

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