Paula White Launches New Makeup Line For Pretend Pastors

APOPKA, FL – Paula White is partnering with French cosmetics company L’Oréal to launch a new line of make-up products aimed specifically at meeting the significant cosmetic needs of pretend pastors.

White, who serves as “Senior Pastor” over thousands of easily distracted and amused members of the Destiny Christian Center near Orlando, announced and demonstrated some of the new products during a Sermon on how God told her to launch a new make-up line with L’Oréal.

“Nobody appreciates quality make-up like a pastorette,” White explained. “The better we can look, the more people will focus on our beautiful, smiling faces…and not so much on less flattering things.”

“Like the biblical requirements for being a pastor.”