Randy Fine Threatens To Eat All Who Oppose Israel

DAYTONA BEACH, FLORIDA - A jubilant, jiggling Randy Fine took to a well fortified stage at a campaign event yesterday to boast that he is personally wiling to contribute to Israel's US-supported mass genocide by eating all who oppose the mass murder of innocents for the sake of the Greater Israel Project.

While this struck casual political observers as an odd approach from a sitting congressman who is supposed to represent Americans in Florida's Sixth congressional district, more seasoned political pros appreciated Fine's direct appeal to the genocidal forces that currently control things in Washington, D.C.

"If I hear one more antisemitic word about how Israel isn't allowed to rape and murder children to defend Israel, I'm just gonna grab the loser spouting that antisemitism and drop him right down my gullet," said fine while caressing his gut and drooling through a toothy grin. "And if I hear one more antisemitic line about how bombing schools loaded with little goyim girls is anything but completely justified, I will do it again!"

"I'm done playing games here!"

"So I offer this one last warning to all the raging antisemites out there who criticize the US-supported mass murder of kids for Israel: Don't make me hangry!"

"You wouldn't like me when I'm hangry."

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