Hillary Clinton Warns America Not to Tolerate Sexual Predators Not Named Bill Clinton

WASHINGTON, DC – With the Harvey Weinstein serial sexual predator story only seeming to grow in scope and magnitude, former Secretary of State and failed Democrat nominee for President Hillary Clinton has been compelled to issue a statement effectively warning Americans not to tolerate the behavior of any serial sexual predator not named Bill Clinton.

“Ms. Clinton couldn’t be more shocked, horrified, and outraged by the disgusting behavior of Mr. Weinstein,” explained Clinton assistant Ivana Diversion. “The fact that Mr. Weinstein personally donated fortunes of wealth to various Clinton campaigns and causes, and that he personally hosted lavish fundraisers for Hillary, in no way excuses his conduct. The way that he has abused, assaulted, and even possibly raped women over decades by using his position of power to control and intimidate them is unconscionable.”

When asked what the difference was between the decades of Weinstein’s reported abuses and the eerily similar record of reported abuses in Bill Clinton’s past, Ms. Diversion just sort of sat there and pretended not to hear the question.