Israel Responds To Easter With "Operation: Eternal Darkness"

BEIRUIT, LEBANON - Fresh off Christian Holy Week, celebrated in memory of King Jesus conquering death and ascending to the throne of Heaven after His sacrifice on the cross, Israel treated its Christian neighbors to the north with its own spin on salvation, dubbed "Operation: Eternal Darkness".

"What better way to follow up Easter than by showing the true plan for salvation for god's chosen people?" mused Judas Goldenstein, a Mossad public relations representative, while standing next to a smiling Mike Huckabee during a press conference announcing early accomplishments of the recently launched operation, which featured mass bombing of civilians on a scale not seen before even in war-torn Lebanon. "We've already accomplished a lot, but we're just getting started."

"With Operation: Eternal Darkness were are not only getting to mass murder innocent civilians, but we are also throwing a huge Israeli wrench into any U.S. plans to end the war we led them into against Iran," Goldenstein continued. "It's like a massive two-for-one deal!"

"And if there's one thing we love here in Israel, it's a good bargain."

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