CHANHASSEN, MN – When class began at Minnetonka West Middle School on Friday, the day after the state of Minnesota was rocked along with the rest of the world by the unexpected death of one of its favorite sons, cultural icon and legendary musician Prince, nearly everyone at Minnetonka West naturally assumed that Prince was now in Heaven.
Unbelievably, there was one student – sixth grader Jason Wilson – who did not instantly join in with proclamations of Prince now “resting in peace” or being in “rock and roll Heaven” playing with Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, and the more recently arriving David Bowie. Wilson’s unwillingness to agree with the assumption that Prince was indeed in Heaven inspired instant retaliation from his peers and instructors.
“How can you be so insensitive and judgmental!” bellowed sixth grade music teacher Zoe Paltrow as she escorted Wilson from his desk to a spot on the floor in the corner of her classroom.
“There! Now sit in the corner and think about how insensitive and judgmental you are!”
While young Mr. Wilson never said anything about Prince not being in heaven, it was his unwillingness to play along with the otherwise universal flow that permeated staff and students at Minnetonka West that put his fellow students on edge and inspired his teachers treat him like a poorly behaving dog.
“I never said Prince wasn’t in heaven,” Wilson tried to explain from his corner while nobody paid attention to him, except for the occasional hail of spitballs or an angry glare from his teacher, who has been a loyal Prince fan since the 1999 album stormed the charts and shook the culture in the early eighties. “I just honestly don’t know that he’s in heaven. I hope he is, but I don’t know.”
“I just couldn’t assume that he was there based on pretty much everything I know about him,” added Wilson as he watched the clock on the wall, counting down the seconds to his release at the end of the school day. “I mean, why do we just assume that guys like that go to heaven every time one of them dies?”
“And why do we hate on people who ask these questions?”
Like what you see at The End Times? Want to help us pay the bills and keep the Apocalyptic Satire going? If so, please consider dropping a few bucks in the tip jar.
Thanks!
You can also get a detailed look into what we’re doing and why we’re doing it by reading Mocking The Prophets Of Baal: The Beauty And Power Of Christian Satire (And Why So Many People Hate It) over at FireBreathingChristian.com.
