COLUMBIA, MO – As news broke this morning of President Obama’s decree that all public schools in the land must enforce a policy of “open toilet education”, millions of angry conservative Christian parents ranted and railed through talk radio, cell phones, and various social media apps while dutifully driving to drop their kids off as usual at public schools across America.
“I just can’t believe what they’re teaching at public schools these days!” wailed Columbia professing Christian and mother of two Karen Greene while slowly rolling into the jam-packed dropoff lane at Abraham Lincoln Elementary where she would soon be handing over her two little girls to the State for another day of anti-Christian mind-sculpting and worldview training. “How can things be getting so bad so quickly in America? What can we possibly do to turn it around?!”
“We’re doomed!” added Greene as she nudged her two little girls out the door and into the loving arms of Mommy Government for another day of education centered on anything but the Christ she regularly claims to “love and live for”.
“I’m just glad that we usually say grace before dinner and have Sunday School every week or so to compensate.”
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