VIRGINIA BEACH, VA – Pat Robertson, CEO of Regent University and chairman of the Christian Broadcasting Network, claims to have received direct word from God that he himself is a heretic.
The “word of knowledge” came to Robertson during an otherwise typical segment of CBN’s The 700 Club in which Robertson conveys things he claims God is personally revealing to him in vivid detail at that very moment.
“Okay, now I’m getting a word that…,” Robertson began before suddenly becoming flush and beginning to tremble as the cameras rolled. “…Pat Robertson is a heretic.”
“Hey wait. That’s me!” added a clearly conflicted and visibly shaken Robertson as mostly shocked production staff looked on.
News of Robertson’s self-deprecating word of knowledge provoked a wide range of reactions from across the evangelical spectrum.
“I’ve always assumed his word of knowledge gig was a sham,” noted Samuel Holloway, pastor of a small church in Lexington. “It’s always seemed so obviously scammy and lame. I’ve never understood how anyone could believe that what he was saying was a direct, personal revelation as though God was whispering right in Pat’s ear or something.”
“But this time around, I think it might be the real deal.”
Like what you see at The End Times? Want to help us pay the bills and keep the Apocalyptic Satire going? If so, please consider dropping a few bucks in the tip jar.
Thanks!
You can also get a detailed look into what we’re doing and why we’re doing it by reading Mocking The Prophets Of Baal: The Beauty And Power Of Christian Satire (And Why So Many People Hate It) over at FireBreathingChristian.com.
