ORLANDO, FL – Planned Parenthood President Cecile Richards was visibly relieved and even giddy at points on Monday while touring an Orlando area Planned Parenthood clinic that had murdered babies “right on schedule” throughout the weekend even as the world recoiled in horror at the tragic mass shooting that had unfolded just a few miles away.
“Oh yeah, we never even had to slow down. Nobody bothered us,” noted Ms. Richards while toting bags of leftover baby parts to the curb in front of the clinic in anticipation of Tuesday morning’s trash pickup. “The police obviously never came to stop us. Heck, they actually kept our walkways nice and clear of protesters, making the path to child sacrifice that much easier for the paying customers hiring us to kill their kids for them.”
“We kept right on murdering babies through last weekend just like we do every other,” Richards added with a smile. “In Florida alone we way outdid that shooter guy at the gay club. We out-murder that guy every weekend, weekend after weekend after weekend after weekend…”
“And we even get police protection while we do it!”
“How ’bout that?!”
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