RIDGEFIELD PARK, NJ – Samsung Electronics America is promising to replace any recently exploded Galaxy series smart phones with new, not-yet-exploded Galaxy series smartphones. The announcement comes in the wake of numerous reports of late model Samsung smartphones bursting into flames or exploding, resulting, in some instances, in vehicles, homes, and small portions of towns or villages being burnt to the ground.
“We are absolutely committed to our valued customers and we apologize for any inconvenience caused by our phones blowing up in their hands, homes, and vehicles,” explained Samsung Director of PR/Propaganda Joseph Isuzu in a statement released this morning. “In light of recent events, we at Samsung will be happy to replace any charred, exploded late model Samsung phone with a new, not-yet-exploded late model Samsung phone.”
“You’re welcome.”
Like what you see at The End Times? Want to help us pay the bills and keep the Apocalyptic Satire going? If so, please consider dropping a few bucks in the tip jar.
Thanks!
You can also get a detailed look into what we’re doing and why we’re doing it by reading Mocking The Prophets Of Baal: The Beauty And Power Of Christian Satire (And Why So Many People Hate It) over at FireBreathingChristian.com.
