MENLO PARK, CA – In response to recent charges that it actively suppressed the promotion and circulation of conservative views through its gigantic, culture-shaping, openly leftist social media construct, Facebook has tabbed Hillary Clinton to head an ornamental probe into the matter.
“We have the utmost confidence in Hillary’s innate sense of fairness end ethics,” proclaimed Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg at a Facebook hosted Hillary for President campaign fundraiser. “With Hillary at the helm, we can all have full confidence in where this investigation is going.”
“I’m unaware of anyone less likely to allow a leftist-damaging digital paper trail to be found, much less followed,” added Zuckerberg with a trademark snotty, self-righteous smirk. “Expecting Hillary to track down things like potentially incriminating emails from Progressives is a lot like expecting Michael Moore to diligently preserve Twinkies.”
“Not. Gonna. Happen.”
“So yeah, we at Facebook are completely confident that Hillary will bring her unmatched ethical and moral acumen to bear and lead this investigation in a manner that will prove once and for all that there is no anti-conservative bias at Facebook….no matter how much Facebook’s anti-conservative censorship may be trending as a topic on Twitter and all other non-Facebook social media.”
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