LITTLE ROCK, AR – Former President Bill Clinton is so “totally jazzed” and supportive of President Obama’s recent public school bathroom decree that he is planning a nationwide tour of high school girls’ restrooms in support of the change.
“I have to say that when I first heard the news I was totally blown away,” mused an abnormally excited Clinton from his Presidential Library in Little Rock, where he’s putting final touches on his planned tour of public high school girls’ restrooms across the country. “I can’t believe I didn’t think of this when I was President! I mean, if I had any idea that all I had to do was decree my own legal access to girls’ high school bathrooms, this sort of thing would have happened by January 21 of 1993 at the latest.”
“Barack Obama is truly a progressive visionary of the highest order,” Clinton added as tears of ecstatic joy began to stream down his face. “As a man who has dreamt of casually strolling into women’s restrooms with impunity since I can remember, I will forever be grateful for what this brave President has done to finally tear down the discriminatory barriers that have kept me and my friends out of places like high school or junior high school or middle school or elementary school girls’ bathrooms.”
“God bless you, Barack Obama!”
“And God bless America!”
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