WASHINGTON, DC – Americans who went to bed last night thinking the horrors of Halloween were behind them are waking up today to the cold, hard, apocalyptic reality of yet another wave of sky high health insurance premium increases courtesy of Obamacare.
With November 1 bringing health insurance premium increases as high as 115% for millions of working Americans, many are looking back with fondness at the faux horrors of Halloween and yearning for a world filled with witches, vampires, and werewolves rather than an America where health insurance goes up annually at rates likely to drive millions of desperate, struggling working people deep into poverty, despair, and, quite possibly, madness.
“Zombies I can deal with, but a 100% annual increase in health insurance? No way!” explained 39 year old small business owner Barney Grumble of Little Rock, Arkansas, in an online forum dedicated to therapeutic conversation and suicide prevention among Obamacare victims. “I just can’t deal with this. It’s mathematically impossible for me to keep this up. The “Affordable Care Act” is destroying me financially! It’s killing me!”
“It’s like the grim reaper himself is working in the Obamacare billing department.”
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