WASHINGTON DC – After spending the better part of a century reaping benefits from systems dramatically rigged in his favor and bending or breaking rules when those corrupt systems weren’t enough to get him where he wanted to go, former Vice President Joe Biden is now positioning himself as the man to fix all of the crooked schemes and corrupt systems that made him who he is today.
“Joe’s all about ending white privilege, eliminating unfair loopholes designed to benefit guys like him, and cracking down on the kind of massive, egregious lawbreaking that has brought him and his family to where they are today,” explained Biden Campaign Strategist Josephine Isuzu. “And while he hasn’t gotten around to tackling any of those things during his first 47 years of public service, he’ll get right to it starting the first day after he’s sworn in as President.”
“Trust me.”
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