WASHINGTON DC – In a desperate last ditch move to crush the presidential aspirations of Texas Senator Ted Cruz, Jeb Bush has formally endorsed Ted Cruz for President.
“We knew Jeb was bitter about a few things after getting routinely shellacked in the early primaries and being forced to drop out, but this is really low,” noted a Cruz campaign insider who requested to remain anonymous in order to speak freely and retain the option of lying with impunity. “The down side to his endorsement is obvious: He’s Jeb Bush. The up side is what, exactly? You tell me. You can’t think of anything, can you?”
“Honestly, he’d have helped us much more by endorsing Trump.”
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