NEW YORK, NY – After weeks of increasing speculation as to who will be tapped as his running mate, presumptive GOP nominee Donald Trump has announced that a 1/4 scale clone of himself will complete the 2016 Republican ticket.
“It was a long, challenging process, and there were many absolutely amazing, highly qualified men and women that I considered for the position of Vice President,” explained Trump at a massive rally introducing Mini Trump to the world. “But, at the end of the day, the only one really and truly qualified to be my Vice President was me, so I had my people – which include some of the greatest scientists in the world, by the way – I had my people make this adorable, absolutely amazing little clone of myself.”
For his part, Mini Trump mostly just stood alongside Trump, smiling and waving in-between spontaneous shouts of insults and “You’re fired!” while pointing at random Trump rally attendees, who seemed to actually enjoy being threatened by the miniature VP wannabe.
“Isn’t he just absolutely adorable?” Trump asked as the crowd oohed and aahed in response to Mini Trump’s continued threats and insults.
“And just wait ’til you see the rest of our cabinet!”
“I don’t want to give anything away here, but let’s just say that it will be absolutely loaded with the only people who are absolutely qualified to serve in a Trump administration.”
Like what you see at The End Times? Want to help us pay the bills and keep the Apocalyptic Satire going? If so, please consider dropping a few bucks in the tip jar.
Thanks!
You can also get a detailed look into what we’re doing and why we’re doing it by reading Mocking The Prophets Of Baal: The Beauty And Power Of Christian Satire (And Why So Many People Hate It) over at FireBreathingChristian.com.
