CAMBRIDGE, MA – A hole that appears to have formed over the past 10-15 years in the earth’s ozone is “almost, if not entirely attributable” to former Vive-President Al Gore’s “endless rambling about global warming,” according to a new report published by the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT).
The hole appears to follow Gore all over the globe as he routinely travels by a variety of luxurious, “environment-destroying” means from his many homes to any number of high-dollar speaking engagements centering on the the subject of “climate change” and how “the little people” should “stop using their air conditioners so much”.
“Apparently, Gore’s ceaseless rambling on the subject of global warming has finally caught with him and the rest of us,” explained Dr. George Jetson, one of the reports’ co-authors. “He just keeps talking and talking and talking in between buying mansions, taking luxurious vacations, and flying his gigantic carcass all over creation while preaching to the rest of us the need to stop using air conditioning and start commuting using pogo-sticks and whatnot.”
“Maybe if we just stop listening to him, he’ll finally shut up and go away.”
“In my expert scientific opinion, that would definitely make the world a better place.”
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