NEW YORK, NY – With popular sentiment having clearly turned against the mainstream media “experts” who predicted a Hillary Clinton cake walk to the presidency, desperate network talking heads are trying to patch things up with Trump voters by insulting them a more respectful, serious tone using long, strung out, intellectual sounding descriptions rather than simple, one-word expletives and interjections.
“We have nothing but the greatest respect for each and every illiterate, bigoted, racist, homophobic, uneducated hick, hayseed, and hillbilly that propelled Mr. Trump to the presidency,” explained one comparatively popular MSNBC host who wished to remain anonymous in order to avoid rankling any of the dozen or so viewers who still tune into his show. “The notion that we are somehow biased against these tens of millions of passionate, die-hard, dangerously delusional nutcases is silly, really. The truth is that we value and respect each and every one of these uncultured, narrow-minded, jingoistic tools of civilization destroying ignorance.”
“Here at MSNBC we want to be crystal clear that we have nothing but the highest regard for this army of knuckle-dragging, inbred Neanderthals, and we welcome their laughably imbecilic beliefs into the free market of ideas with open arms.”
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