LONDON – In a long-anticipated move aimed at bringing Britain’s most overtly socialist major political party into harmony with linguistic reality, the British Labour Party has officially changed its name to the Avoidance of Labor Party.
“We just didn’t want any of our easily distracted, intensely lazy base to be confused as to what we’re all about,” explained Avoidance of Labour Party Communications Director Carly Marx. “The last thing we want people to think is that we’re actually going to make them work for what we hand out through government programs. That’s not our intent at all. While a good work ethic is necessary in those from whom we steal to fund our progressive utopian vision, it isn’t something that our base really understands or appreciates in any meaningful way, so we thought it important that our party name more clearly reflect that perspective.”
“We want our people to rest easy knowing that they’ll be well paid while resting easy.”
“That’s what Avoidance of Labour is all about.”
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