NEW YORK, NY – The New York Times has announced that it will launch a new daily publication dedicated entirely to the publication of retractions related to fake news stories published in the prevous days’ edition of The New York Times.
Times management hopes that The Daily Retractor, scheduled to launch on July 1, will help to deflect at least some of the damage being done by the paper’s ongoing commitment to publishing and promoting “news stories” that are patently and often quite laughably false.
“Here at The New York Times we are completely committed to the highest standards of journalistic professionalism and integrity,” explained Times Vice-President of Spin and Damage Control Dr. Josephine Goebbels-Isuzu to the laughter of those attending a press conference promoting The Daily Retractor. “And when we can’t meet those standards, we simply redefine them.”
“It is in this context that I take great pride in announcing the launch of The Daily Retractor,” added Goebbels-Isuzu. “Nothing screams journalistic integrity like the daily production of a mountain of beautifully written, nicely punctuated retractions.”
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